


Triad

by chickapea



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Awesome Leia Organa, F/M, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Implied Sexual Content, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, POV Rey (Star Wars), Pregnancy, Rey Needs A Hug, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickapea/pseuds/chickapea
Summary: Dyad turns Triad.The Resistance battled the First Order fiercely overhead while the two star-crossed lovers shared a steamy exchange in an abandoned warehouse.It doesn't take long for Rey to find out that what once was a two person bond she shared with the infamous Kylo Ren, was now transforming to include a third.For her safety and for her unborn childs safety, Rey leaves the Resistance to become a nobody, a drifter from planet to planet with the help of Leia.This new addition would prove to be the key to ending Palpatines new reign.Going to be going from their hot meeting onwards, will be slow burn and Rey-centric!
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

C.1

It all started with a meeting. 

The First Order had led an unrelenting assault on a planet with unwavering allegiance to the Resistance. Their meager army was no match for the brute military force that the Order brought, and by hologram message from their leader, they begged for backup from allies within the Resistance. 

Rey was quick to offer herself up, slinging her staff over her shoulder and packing away the legacy saber in a belt loop behind her. 

Though it wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to jump at the opportunity to help those in need, Rey fought the merciless idea in her head that her volunteering served other purposes. 

It was months after the battle of Crait, long months after she had seen Kylo Ren for the last time from her advantageous position aboard the Millennium Falcon. Their bond had dissipated into mere Inklings of a feeling, whispers of his existence tapped into her consciousness, but nothing tangible, like when they had touched finger tips. 

She nervously wrung her fingers along the gritty wrap that covered her staff. She wanted to help people – yes, this much was true, but in the back of her mind the thrill of potentially running into him coerced her immediate response to the request for help. She couldn’t feel their bond anymore, and in some sick need of validation, Rey needed him, and his affirmation of her existence in his life. 

The shuttle ride was long and turbulence threw them around wildly, she clung for dear life to the handle bars above as First Order Attack ships circled around them. 

“First time?” A soldier peered to her, he absorbed the sharp turns and pulls easily, he must be a seasoned professional. 

“Y-yes.” She stammered nervously. The bay doors were open and any sharp turn coupled with a sweaty loose hand and she would be flying out into the smoky air, a prime blaster target from the ships making their rounds once more. 

“Poe has our back.” He smiled and nodded in the direction of Poe’s fighter, protecting the shuttle at all costs, after all, he did refer to Rey as precious cargo. 

She nodded. “He does.” 

The shuttle nestled into the sand dune a short distance from where the First Order was carpet bombing a city, black smoke billowed tall and gave Rey an indication of where she’d be likely to find him. 

She squinted and used her hand as a visor over her eyes to peer toward the mess. Yes, I can feel him. She gulped and her heart began to pound. Had they lost all they’d built up? She knew they made ground from their bond meetings back when she was training with Luke, and after she left him unconscious on the floor in Snoke's throne room Rey was certain anger piloted his ship. Was the anger enough for him to throw away the progress they’d made, was it going to be attack on site, or will he simply fall back into the heart felt Ben Solo she saw glimpses of?

Again, she nervously squeezed her hands on her staff, enough for the course material to leave imprints on the calloused skin. She prayed she could lull the Ben Solo back out. 

With a brisk pace she followed behind the single file line of soldiers that set course for the city, trudging through the mounds of sand with difficulty, as opposed to Rey who naturally knew how to walk in the sand with efficiency. 

They trudged on and she stopped in the sand, heat bearing down on her shoulders, even beneath her white long sleeved uniform that should protect her from the sun, she felt the crisp burning rays penetrate her skin. Still, something made her stand at attention, alone in the sea of gold as the soldiers became tiny in the distance. 

Kylo Ren wasn’t in the city. He senses her as well, and she craned her neck to the side to peer on the outskirts of the city, abandoned sand logged buildings left untarnished by the attack. He’d be there, she knew it. 

The walk was long and she flicked her tongue around her mouth, it was beginning to feel dry and course, her throat burned with dehydration. This detour better be worth it. 

A door to a large square building half covered in sand lay in a crumpled mess, easy enough for her to straddle and slide over. 

This was the building, she just knew it. She could feel him, his presence grew stronger and stronger, and the feeling of either impending doom or a wash of relief was to follow soon, and she hoped for relief. 

Her footsteps echoed in the room, giving away her position easily to anybody that took this detour as well. For all she knew he didn’t come alone, and she readied her staff for white troopers to round the corner. 

The force quaked as she approached a door. Kylo Ren was on the other side, but she hoped for Ben Solo to greet her. 

The door swirled open to reveal a small command room, many machines and screens lay dormant with cracks and exposed wires. It was dated equipment, not likely to have been used since she was a little girl at least. 

She entered the room and twirled her staff in her hands, staring at the machinery, knowing in just a few seconds the door on the opposite side of the room would swirl open as well.

He entered, both his physical presence and his force presence were choking her out. He owns a room when he enters it, and he knew it. 

She looked over her shoulder to him, waiting for him to speak first, to show her he still remembered her. 

He didn’t. He stood in complete silence, allowing the raw power that emanated off of him to do all the talking. 

A pit formed in her belly at the submissive nature of her speaking first, but she knew all too well just how stubborn he was. 

“Do you still remember me, Supreme Leader?” Her voice waivered with anger. She thought when he killed Snoke they’d leave hand in hand back to the Resistance, but she could see now she was a pawn in his game. He whipped up some semblance of feelings for her to use as the ultimate push for power. Was it completely false, what they felt for each other?

He blinked and continued to stare at her, expression unyielding of any emotion he may harbour for her. 

“It’s been months since our last connection,” she started, “and now this.” She motioned toward the carnage ensuing beyond the crumbling walls of the city with a scowl. “We were so close.”

“You left me for dead in Snoke’s throne room.” He reminded her with a twitch of his brow, his long legs taking him a few steps closer to her. “He cultivated our connection, there was no substance to it.”

She shook her head and released her staff back behind her with a gentle swing. He wouldn’t attack her, not right now at least. “That’s wrong, you know it’s wrong. You’re cutting yourself off from me.” 

He raised a brow, another step closer. “Why would I do that.”

Again, she shook her head. “I don’t know, you make a range of decisions that often repulse me.” 

He was within reaching distance of her, a waft of new leather and fresh pressed fabric found its way to her nose. Despite it being a sweltering day out he managed to not smell like what she assumed every other man on the field smelt like. 

Admittedly she wasn’t sure if she could say the same for herself, she was sweating up a storm in her white breezy outfit. Turns out living away from the desert on a lush tropical planet changes you. Rey shed her desert skin months ago and now had to endure the scorch once more. 

He stared down on her with glazed brown eyes, not even with a look of disdain or empathy, or any sort of feelings like the look he had in his eyes when he extended his hand to her in the throne room. Rey gulped inwardly, wondering how things would be had she taken his offer up, maybe she would have turned him back to Ben Solo if she was at his side. 

Her eyes quickly flickered downwards, and she snatched his right hand in hers, his gloved hand giving no struggle or fidget to the intrusion. She pawed at it desperately, ripping apart the small metal clasp that kept the glove firmly in place, whipping it to the ground with a fresh smack on the concrete below. 

He watched her with a curious look, one brow hinged downwards at her confusing display. 

Rey held his hand desperately within hers, his skin was warm and rough with callouses where she only assumed came from rigorous training. 

“Don’t you feel anything?” She pleaded, both her hands cupped his and even still did not completely cover his long fingers. “I know you’re still in there.”

His façade began to melt away in small mannerisms she could spot instantly. His brow relaxed, and his eyes softened, losing their harsh glaze that protected them from conveying emotion. His features normally held a sharp look to them but now seemed less intimidating. 

“It’s too late.” He breathed, brows beginning to knit together but he didn’t retract his hand from hers. 

Rey held his hand close to her chest, he was starved for human touch and the instant gratification it brought, she could tell, because she fell into the same predicament. When they touched finger tips those months ago it was a wave of feelings she hadn’t felt in years, the comfort of safe touch from another human, a touch that symbolized more than a spur of the moment gleeful hug after a successful mission from friends  
.  
The intimacy of it all wasn’t lost on her, and she needed this just as much as he did. 

“Do you think by repeating your words it will make them true?”  
His eyes flickered with thought. She pinpointed quite easily his subconscious plans to keep himself sane, by repeating that he was irredeemable, an attempt to solidify the road he walked.

“Who’s to say they aren’t true.”

“I am, for one..” She replied, beginning to zone out, lost in a long train of thought concerning Ben Solo. His hand within her hands, held close to her chest, not a glimmer within her that she should feel threatened in the slightest. She was standing with Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. 

He tried to tug his hand back from within her grasp, but she tightened her fingers and peered up to him with pleading eyes, sparkling under the old flickering light panels above. He didn’t try again to relieve his hand, instead fixating his analytical eyes upon her own.

“Please.” She begged.

“You didn’t take my hand in the past, why now?”

She pursed her lips together and regret filled her. All this time that had passed and she still felt like she had abandoned him back then, leaving him to face potential death onboard the Supremacy. He was vulnerable and the path he saw was not clearly defined, she should have helped clarify it for him, for them.

“I don’t think you knew what you wanted when you gave me your hand.” 

He was so close to her face, she could now see the definition in his features, the uneven outlines of the small beauty marks that were scattered around. 

“I knew what I wanted.” He started, his voice almost a whisper. In case the hint wasn’t clear enough, he detailed it. “I still know what I want.” 

The way his brown eyes bore into hers only confirmed the elusive detail he chose to leave out, for mysteries sake she supposed. 

The validation and want to felt needed by someone other than Poe, Finn, or Leia who needed her for strategic reasons soothed her. It was exactly what she was missing lately. She wasn’t necessarily alone, she had her good friends back at the base but her human need for intimate companionship had been eating away at her. She couldn’t stop thinking about Ben and what could have been. 

She could feel the heat rise up into her cheeks where it stewed and fermented, a dead giveaway to her inner thought process but she didn’t care, in fact he was technically the one who started it. 

“What is that?” She smiled deviously on the inside, she wanted to drag it out of him, for him to spell out his need for her audibly. Hints weren’t enough anymore, and if not for her, then he needed to admit it for himself, even if it pushed him over the edge toward her. 

He wasn’t one to back away from a challenge. “I want you.” 

Her cheeks ignited, a response she wished she could hide but in the heat of the moment her blush spread like wildfire. 

Her friends wanted her friendship, but they had more important things going on, but Ben… She knew the influence she had on him, how his mind fixated to one thing and one thing only. As selfish as it was to admit, she wanted to be somebody’s number one. 

The fact that it was Kylo Ren was a whole other thing.  
Worse off, she felt like he was her number one. Rey gulped at the realization that he was in fact her number one – she could be on the battle field defending their soldiers but instead she fled to a building to hold hands with the man leading the destruction. Her throat tightened with guilt. 

“…I want you too..” She murmured, lowering her glance to his chest, emotions whirling around her head, guilt, panic, regret, both affection and devotion for him tackled the negative thoughts surrounding him. 

The scent of leather filled her nostrils again, but before the cogs in her brain spurred she felt the cool touch of his glove at her chin. It tilted her face upwards, so her eyes connected with his, and soon after, their lips connected. 

Despite shock overriding her system and shutting down every basic motion, the need or want to coil back never arose. 

She knew if asked earlier if this situation had happened, what would she have done? Of course kick him as hard as she could square in his chest to knock the breath right out of him would be her immediate response. That would be her anger fueled response, powered by the thought that Ben Solo was lost to her. 

In this moment she knew this was not Kylo Ren, and that she would accept. 

Their kiss was the opposite of timid, it was feverish, worth all the kisses they’d missed in the few months they’d lost together. 

He was warm to the touch, his lips in particular were hot with pent up energy waiting to be released. Up close he smelt like the sand dunes outside mixed with his fresh uniform, plus something else she couldn’t our a finger on, but it was endearing all the same. 

Keeping a firm grasp of his hand with her left hand, her right timidly placed itself on his chest, hard to the touch but feeling him breathing under there only confirmed his humanity. 

Their kisses grew deeper and their unspoken need for touch compelled them to move closer together, Rey pressing her body flush against his. There was an inexplicable wave of comfort within his arms, where others felt threatened, she felt safety and protection. 

In a swift movement he had his hands behind her thighs and hefted her up with ease. 

Rey let out a small yelp but their kiss hadn’t disconnected, she refused to have their lips part. Her fingers clutched onto his shoulders for dear life and her legs wrapped around his lower torso tightly to ensure she didn’t slip from his grasp. 

He sat her on the dusty sand logged control panel installed underneath the window overlooking the partial destruction of the city and the vast sand dunes that encompassed the area. 

Despite now having a safe object to sit on, Rey’s legs didn’t untangle from behind his body. In some twisted way she felt power in having him trapped between her body parts, she could now control his movement. 

In some other twisted way, it felt good. Keeping her legs tightly bound behind him allowed both their lower halves to press in on each other in a way she’d never experienced before. Emptiness. A longing between her legs that ached to be filled.

The blush burned hot in her cheeks and pulled her from the lust filled trance that worked her like a puppet. She thanked her lucky stars they were so entranced in their current predicament; closed eyes hid what she could only assume was a blood red streak across her cheeks. He’d surely make a comment about it.

He pulled away almost abruptly, their tongues retreating back to their own mouths and their wet lips unlocking from each other with a thin thread of saliva. 

The slight feeling of embarrassment over the colour of her cheeks had faded away, his face was equally as red, his eyes half lidded and lustful, stared down at her, mentally undressing her with every millisecond that passed. She stayed silent, regaining her breath in silence. 

It was good, but she craved more. 

Rey led her eyes back upwards to lock with his, and she knew they were on the same page.

X.

The ache afterwards was good. Her parts were sore with use and stung as she shifted around to pull her panties and trousers up her long shaky legs. Though she kept it a secret she hadn’t been with a man before, when she saw the smears of blood as she pulled her panties to cover her private area the secret was out. 

The sting was good, it showed her the difference between a man and slipping in a few of her own fingers like she was so used to.

In an almost awkward silence they redressed themselves, well she did, now adjusting the wrap that kept her trousers up. All he had to do was pull his pants back up and reposition his black tunic. 

Rey blinked and gulped, faltering for any sort of words after what had just happened, chastising herself for looking literally breathless. 

Kylo retrieved his glove from the floor where she had discarded it and pulled it over his hand, stretching his fingers within to attain the best fit. Flashes of his fingers inside of her corrupted her brain and she blinked hard to try and wipe them away. 

Outside the window he could see the Steadfast warp into view, his eyes wavered for a moment before staring down at her, mixed emotions creeping into his features.

Though disappointed, she knew he wouldn’t come back with her today. She was going to have to work harder to chip away the wall he’d built between him and the light side. 

“Are you going to leave, and end this tyranny here?” Rey spoke bitterly through airy breaths she took, her body was not responding well to the heat, let alone the frantic feverish workout and panting for air she’d just put it through. 

He held his hand out and a small square disk ejected from the console beside her, shooting into his grasp. 

“I have to. Leave, that is.” His words almost sounded remorseful, but he began his routine of packing away his facial emotions. “I got what I wanted.” 

What? She scrunched her nose in response to those words. “Is that so?” 

He waved the disk in front of him as if to say 'this is what I meant' without needing to say it. 

She knew what he meant, but some inkling in the back of her head stated otherwise. He did technically get what he wanted. He stated he wanted her, and what did she do? She opened her legs wide open for him. 

Rey pressed her lips together and dug her nails into the soft palms of her hands, making any attempt to hide the regret and anger that surged through her veins. 

He made his way for the doorway, slowing as he neared the exit.  
“I won’t ever stop fighting for you.” She called to him, staring lasers into his back as he stopped to deliberate. 

She knew what he was thinking, he weighed the pros and cons of him leaving with her right this instant, but she seemingly wasn’t enough to make that risky play worth it. 

“I know.” He stated solemnly before finally exiting the room, the door swirling shut to cut her off from him. In this room he was Ben Solo, but the second he took a step out he cloaked himself in his guise of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. 

She guessed in their own way they told each other how they felt.  
Gathering her belongings not a minute later she exited the building and watched with sunken eyes as tie fighters and trooper shuttles began to retreat. Resistance pilots chased them out successfully, pinpointing a handful that turned their backs on the resilient Resistance and shooting them right out of the sky. 

She hoped and prayed she did not miss a lot, or the guilt would absolutely eat her alive. 

Rey trudged through the sand with a scowl embellishing her sore red lips. “Need to think, need to think…” She murmured to herself. What excuse would she invent to tell the troops that stated they didn’t see her in the battlefield? She licked her lips.

Well be honest, right? They can’t refute that Kylo Ren hadn’t graced them with his presence, after all Resistance probably picked up radio squabble of his appearance earlier. She’ll just say the truth, she found him in the abandoned sector and they fought, just what was expected of them to do. Fought with our private parts, maybe. Ugh, Gods. 

The shuttle ride was difficult. A handful of injured men and women lay spread out across the floor with medics attending to their needs as they flew through the sky. They moaned in pain while between her legs Kylo Ren’s seed slowly soaked her underwear. 

Rey kept to the darkened corner of the shuttle to hide her shame.

X.

Rey thought she could slink away to her nook by the jungles edge without being seen by anybody of significance, but by Poe’s voice calling out to her loudly from across the loading platforms she was proved wrong. 

“Glad to see you’re okay.” Poe smiled with a wavering sigh as he caught up to her, holding his piloting helmet close to his side. “Tough fight out there.”

She pressed her nails back into her palms in the same indents she left there earlier. “I didn’t make it to support everybody on the field.”

“Oh?” His brows furrowed.

“I-“

“Ahh, that’s right.” He interrupted. “Comms informed me he took to the battle field. Didn’t hear squat about him after that so I assume you were dealing with him?”

Rey nodded and let out a silent shaky breath. “Yeah.. I just wish I could have stopped him earlier to avoid this bloodbath.” 

“Our allies took the greatest hit.” He shook his head with a frustrated sigh. “Barely had any resources to put up a fair fight, but I guess that’s what the First Order looks for in a fight. Anyways, I uh will let you go, Leia will probably want a first person testimony of what happened.”

Oh God’s, Leia. How could she face her! In a panicked state Rey hauled her staff off her back and leaned herself against the desk in her nook. She could never lie to Leia, and Leia always knew when something was afoot. How absolutely disgusted would she be with her? It was one thing that he now led the oppressive regime Leia was fighting so hard to end, but he was her son no less. 

“Ugh.” She buried her face into her hands. “What is wrong with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

C.2

Over the course of the next few weeks Rey realized that neither one of them had reached out through their shared connection.   
It was better that he hadn’t, she was ready to lay into him over the news the Resistance had received a little over a week ago. 

The First Order came back around a second time to carpet bomb the city, obliterating what was left of the fighters and civilians that manned the hospital’s for the wounded. Maybe that’s why he avoided her, he knew what was best for his own safety. 

Rey poked at her food with her fork. Guilt eroded her appetite this last month, but increasingly so these past few days, to the point where even the smell of food made her feel the need to hurl. She only got a tray at the cafeteria to keep up appearances with friends, none of them were suspicious and she didn’t want that to start now. Today she sat alone, so she figured she didn’t have to keep up her lie of eating regularly. 

When enough people dissipated from the cafeteria tables she slid her styro plate into the garbage and fast tracked it for the door, the scent of some meat she couldn’t identify wafted in her direction. 

She blinked hard and swallowed thickly to keep the wave of nausea at bay – the food in the cafeteria must have spoiled, or did it normally smell that awful? She eyed the help yourself trays as she exited the cafeteria. It looked normal, but she shook it off, today just have just been an off day for her. 

Thankfully the private restrooms closest to the cafeteria were empty and she could vomit in peace – not that it mattered, nothing but a pathetic amount of bile dribbled out of her mouth. 

Still, her stomach flipped for a little while more before it began to calm. 

Was the food in the cafeteria really that bad? She raised herself on measly dehydrated meat and grain product, whatever the droids cooked up in the kitchen was surely a step up from that!

“Jeesh, maybe I should eat something, least then I’d have something to throw up..” Rey flushed the toilet and paced to the sink weakly. As she scrubbed her hands of any public bathroom particles she picked up off the floor she eyed something protruding from the wall. 

Just a tampon dispenser. She went about with her business, scrubbing her fingertips meticulously. Her mind and eyed drifted… I haven’t needed one of those in a while… 

Rey turned the tap off and stood with her hands grasping the sink, her mind drifting into deep thought. Why is that? Why haven’t I needed a tampon in a while? 

This was exactly why she should keep better track of her cycle, which she never did, because 'what's the point’, she could roughly guess when she was set to bleed and that alone was enough reason to blow it off. 

She squinted as she scoured her brain for reasons as to why she hadn’t bled in a while. 

Her heart beat furiously in her throat and she swore her face grew cold with blood pooling downwards. “There’s no way..” She stared into the mirror at her paling face, then her eyes shifted downwards toward her lower abdomen. “Oh no.” 

Rey fell back into the stall quickly and frenziedly locked it with jittery clumsy hands. She stood in silence with her face buried into her hands to calm herself. This is exactly why I’ve been meaning to track my cycles. Why am I so lazy and stupid! 

She checked her underwear for any signs of blood spotting but failed to find any sign of her monthly cycle having started. 

Now trotting quickly through the halls she reached the medical wing, and through sputtering out of breath words, the nurse managed to understand her request for blood work to be done. 

There was no need to raise suspicions had she asked for a pregnancy test, better keep that on the down low until it absolutely had to come out. 

Rey got to curl up in a bed to wait for the results, curtained away from the rest of the rabble in the medical wing. Rocking gently in the bed she pulled her knees to her chin and let her eyes flutter shut. 

There was no way, right? No, there definitely was a way. They were both completely stupid and in the heat of the moment she didn’t think either of them thought of the potential consequences that came from him finishing inside of her.

Worst of all she hadn’t done anything to stop him from doing that, in fact she crossed her ankles behind his back when the time came.

She groaned in displeasure. “I can’t believe I did this…” 

It took a while for the nurse to get back to her with results, quickly entering the slit in the curtain so Rey wasn’t exposed to the others meandering about. 

“Hi Rey, how are you doing?” The woman asked sweetly, holding a clipboard close to her chest. 

“I’ve felt better.” She admitted with a quivering sigh. “Did the blood panel reveal anything?”

“It did. A couple things to note, actually.” She slid her reading glasses onto her nose and peered at the paper. “Some big news and some smaller news.” 

“Big news, please..” Maybe she’d fallen ill, contracted some sort of water borne disease from the jungle rivers she dives in after training. At least she could quickly treat a disease.

“Alright.. Well Rey, you’re pregnant.” She stated cheerfully.  
Reys toes curled inside her boots and she dug her teeth into the flesh of her lower lip. It made sense, she didn’t need a blood panel to know what was going on with her body once she pieced the evidence together. His seed quickened within her that day while she failed to realize. 

“The other news is that you’re low on iron, which is quite common in pregnancy.”

She didn’t care about the iron. In the midst of a massive war in which she was on the losing end she managed to get herself pregnant, effectively putting herself out of commission. Their greatest weapon now useless – she inhaled sharply and blinked away the hot tears that tried to surface. 

“Were you needing to hear some options for this pregnancy? In case this is not the news you were hoping to hear?” 

It definitely was not the news she wanted or needed to hear but Rey shook her head. “I know what I’ll be doing, thank you..” 

Months ago she was given a room in the residential wing of the base for when weather was particularly bad outside where her regular cot was situated. She didn’t get to use it yet, and this was the perfect opportunity to give herself a good loud cry in her own privacy. 

The bed was hard but it was better than the thin fabric of the cot that made do all this time. She dove under the blankets and curled up into a tight ball, letting her emotions run free, her body convulsing with the sobs that followed. 

She bunched the blankets up and stuffed her face in the ball to soak up the flood of tears that wet her face. An overwhelming feeling of failure hugged her, she was one of the core people the Resistance relied on to both defend and support them in any way necessary. That wasn’t to say her friends weren’t capable of pulling this off themselves, but without knowing, they all laid upon her an immense pressure to perform well on missions she attended. 

What if they asked her tonight to go and save a burning village full of children? What would she say? Could she do it…? Her hand creeped down to her lower abdomen and touched the skin under her shirt gently. There was no physical change yet, but something was growing inside of her. 

Rey shook her head to herself with a sigh. Selfishly, she would decline a mission to save a village of kids to ensure her own safety and the one she carried inside of her. Did that make her a terrible person? Well, she could try, couldn’t she?

She moaned and pinched the bridge of her nose to suppress more waves of tears. 

All these tears were rooted in being seen as a failure in the eyes of so many but she realized she was overlooking an important factor – what she thought of the situation, factors aside.

She craved family and familial bonds, and now she’s come to realize that’s why she clung so desperately to Han and Leia, they both represented something she’d been searching for all this time, a witty and edgy father and a protective mother with a heart of gold. In Ben, the reason she fought so hard to win him over was because he represented the intimate partner everyone else seemed to have. He had qualities she found attractive, his strength, protectiveness, quick mind, and for some odd reason they outweighed his cons. And now… she rubbed at her belly timidly as if she was dreaming and any sensation could pull her away from it all. 

Now the parental role she always hoped to take was coming to fruition. All the nights laying awake in the sand on Jakku daydreaming about what her future may hold, the many times she envisioned her future children toying around with electronic scrap and taking them for rides in the dunes. It was in a sense, happening. Though the circumstances were not at all favourable, she was single and one of the figureheads of the rebellion in a massive scale war led by a dictatorship whose rule fell under Kylo Ren, who happened to father her baby.   
What a complete mess!

Leia … well she would have to tell Leia! Not only is she gonna be pulled from the war efforts, but Leia is this baby’s grandmother for crying out loud. 

She’ll have to visit Leia tonight, or she’d be sick keeping this to herself.

X.

By the time Rey pulled herself from her self-pitying thoughts in bed, it was late in the night and this issue couldn’t wait any longer. Her stomach lurched for food but the lingering anxiety over telling Leia her big news would only cause her to throw it all up. 

The halls were nearly empty which made it easier for her to sneak around unnoticed. 

Leia’s door stood before her. Rey gnawed at her fingertips absentmindedly. Can’t this wait a few more days, few more weeks at least? Yes, it could. 

She turned on her heels to make a run for it back down the hall but her will power stopped her legs in their tracks. “No, I have to do this.”

Tap tap tap. She rapped her knuckles against the metal door and twenty seconds later the buzzer fizzled on, microphone waiting for her to speak. 

“Hi Leia, it’s me, Rey. I don’t mean to intrude but I’ve got to speak to you.” 

“Of course Rey, give me a moment.” The woman replied through the buzzer. Within seconds the door to her apartment swirled open. 

Rey scanned Leia quickly, noting she has already dressed into her nightly attire. Silken pajama set with a navy blue robe over top. 

Rey held her hand out. “I’m sorry, this looks to be a bad time, I can come back tomorrow-“

“Oh I’m just reading news reports before bed. Takes me a while to fall asleep anyways.” Leia waved off the idea of Rey leaving and beckoned her inside. “Besides, it looks like you’ve been through the wringer.” 

Rey stepped inside shyly, eyes wandering curiously around the room. It was a much larger complex than her measly one, but Rey wondered if she ever got lonely in here. 

“May I?” Rey touched at the back of a chair tucked in nearly beneath the dining table. Leia nodded as she continued to walk further into the apartment, stopping in the kitchen and pouring two glasses of water. Rey watched her on the verge of passing out, her heart beating so viciously her chest and throat were getting sore. 

“Here.” Leia placed the glass in front of Rey and took a seat beside her, sliding her holo tablet off and to the side. 

“Thank you.” She breathed, wrapping her nervous sweaty hands around the cool glass. “Again, I’m sorry the late visit, I’ve just got to speak to you sooner rather than later.”

“I’ll always be here for you Rey, no matter the time.”

Rey nodded with a small smile but her words failed to pass her lips. How do I say this? How do I start? Her mind raced to piece together a proper sentence. 

“I’m just w-worried that you’ll hate me…” Tears immediately choked her up, and her voice fluctuated with emotion, indicating to Leia that this was a serious issue. “…I’m sorry…” 

“You couldn’t possibly make me hate you, Rey.” Leia spoke in a calm reassuring tone but as Rey continued to cry incoherently, Leia continued. “Did you give away our position here?” 

“N-no..” 

Leia seemed at a loss for words but Rey had wished Leia would guess it, take the words right out of her mouth so she didn’t have to say it. 

“I…” Leia began, searching her brain for any relevant info that may make this poor girl cry harder than she’d ever seen. ‘I don’t know, Rey.” 

With a shaky breath, Rey managed to speak up. “I, um…” She used her fingers to wipe away at the large tears clinging to her eyelids. Here goes nothing. 

“I … managed to get myself pregnant.” Once the words left her lips the tears resurfaced and she buried her face into her condensation soaked hands so she didn’t see Leia’s reaction. The sobs continued. 

Leia sat in complete silence without movement like she was hit with a stun ray. “Oh.” She breathed, her brows knitting together, the complex idea of Rey being pregnant jumbled her mind. 

Rey contained her sobs and retracted her hands to reveal a face soaked with tears, not daring to look Leia in the eyes, shame held her tightly. 

“Um..” Leia sorted all the pieces but it still didn’t make sense. “…With Finn..?” 

That idea made Rey cringe. “N-No..”

Leia tapped her fingers idly. “With Poe?” That idea seemed to strike a nerve within Leia, she didn’t want to believe her right hand man would do something like this but she knew he was smooth with the ladies. 

“No.” Rey stated in an almost reassuring tone. Finn and Poe were her bestest friends in the universe and the thought of any romantic relationship with either of them made her want to laugh. 

But Rey supposed Leia would most likely rather have those two goofs over the actual father of the baby. 

“I don’t know…” Leia sighed while racking her brain and Rey kept her gaze away from the woman, hiding the shame clearly written on her features, she was sure if Leia looked her in the eyes she’d know instantly. 

“Who's is it…” Leia pressed further, touching her warm hand to the goose bumped flesh of Rey’s arm. What other men did Rey know? Leia squinted as she delved into her mind. 

Suddenly it clicked. “Rey?” Leia gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “Rey… is it… who I think it might be?” 

Rey showed Leia a sliver of her face, her eyes filled with guilt and eyelids heavy with a wave of tears. When she didn’t reply back with a word it almost solidified what Leia knew in her heart. 

“With Ben..?” 

Rey didn’t reply, instead she allowed the tears to spill out again, they speedily raced down her cheek and dripped off her chin. 

“Oh Rey…” Leia’s voice wavered with emotion, the first time Rey ever heard uncertainty in the fearless leaders voice or demeanor. Still, the older woman slid her chair closer to wrap her up in her warm embrace, pulling her against her chest. Rey’s head tucked nicely under her chin, allowing herself to unfold in the protective hold and cry it out like in a real mother daughter relationship. 

“Rey…”Leia soothed as she rubbed the girls back with her hand in calming circular motions. The level of comfort Rey felt was immeasurable, and surely the first time she’d ever felt so loved and cared for from anybody. 

“I’m so sorry Leia, I – I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Rey bawled into the soft fabric. “I would understand if you were so angry with m-me..” 

Not that she wanted that, Leia was her confidant now, the one person she could trust with this high-level information that could surely be taken advantage of from the other side if leaked. 

Regardless, she would understand if Leia was irked with her actions, she did just basically admit that she had slept with her son, not something a mother wants to hear. 

Leia hummed tenderly, the gentle vibrations added comfort she needed more of right now. 

“There’s a small list of things that would ever make me angry with you Rey. Thank you for coming to me..” 

Leia placed her hand on Rey’s head and slowly pet her frazzled stray hairs away. “It’s just… a hurdle that we will have to overcome.” 

Rey peeled herself away from Leia slightly, gazing up at her with big wobbly eyes. “I’m scared that I’ve forsaken us.”

Leia wiped away at a tear on Rey’s face. “I’m so sorry that you feel as if the weight of the Resistance falls on you, a fault only I can take with how much pressure I’ve put on your training. If we crumble because of this, because we didn’t learn how to hedge our bets so to speak, then so be it.” 

Rey closed her eyes and touched at Leia’s hand on her face. “I just don’t want people to die because of this.”

“Sweetheart, any death that may happen in the future will be because of the First Order, not because of you.” 

Rey nodded slowly to her words, sniffling and swiping her tears away with a newfound confidence. She knew Ben had his reasons, but he truly missed out on the loving mother Leia was capable of being when she wasn’t a busy bee. Maybe as a child he didn’t understand her reasoning and that was fine, but Rey found exactly what she needed in this point in her life. Leia embodied the values Rey hoped to raise her child on. 

“I presume you’ll take this pregnancy to term..?” Leia questioned, absentmindedly brushing away the hairs that stuck on Rey’s wet face. 

She nodded to the words, her own hand snaking into her lap to touch her flat belly. “Yes, I will. Nothing else had even been an option to me.” 

The corners of the older woman’s lips twitched upwards. Rey hadn’t seen her smile in a long while, a genuine smile. This was most likely the life she saw for herself when Ben was born, the potential to be a grandmother, to see her son happy. At least one of those was coming true. 

“And I just have to ask..” The smile dispersed briefly. “I can’t imagine this, but please, please tell me this … meeting, was consensual..” 

A hot wave of red flashed Rey’s cheeks. Ben had surely done a lot of evil things but such an unspeakable act they both knew he would not commit. 

Rey stammered for a second, clearly embarrassed. “Y-yes, of course!” 

Leia nodded with a bigger smile. “That’s all I needed to hear.”   
Leia decided it would be best for Rey to spend the night in her apartment, a spare bedroom ready for the taking for the girl still undoubtedly under immense stress. Maybe it was better someone kept an eye on her, to make sure she ate and took care of herself when those needs were easy to ignore. 

Rey almost immediately crawled into the bed when Leia showed her in, letting out a breathy moan as she did, exclaiming the bed had been comfier than the one in her own apartment, which was a step up from her outdoors retreat. 

Leia watched as the lights dimmed, and within seconds Rey had fallen asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: A farewell to the Resistance
> 
> Thank you guys for the love!
> 
> A quick question, do you feel as if Rey / Leia are acting in character? I was grappling with whether or not I wrote Rey too sulky or Leia too understanding of the situation. I have the next few chapters written out so any advice or opinions and I will tweak them in the next chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> Next Chapter: Rey learns some big news. 
> 
> Sorry for any typos you found, I typed this on my phone and autocorrect doesn't always catch things for me!
> 
> Please let me know via comment or whatever if you're interested in the fic, I've got some lore chapters already waiting to be posted.


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